My fck-up Life

2008-05-11T20:41:00.002+08:00

Today is my birthday. Stayed at home till evening and went for my driving lesson. Didnt really had the mood even though is my birthday.

Saturday~

Went with pei shan to settle my driving thingy at amk. She said i grew much more thinner compared to last time. After that i drop her at amk hub as she is meeting her family and i went back to compass point. Bought a renoma wallet for my mum and i forgot to buy emily's present as i am rushing for time to meet liang. Met liang at 5plus and i helped him to style his hair for his event. Went to meet ya liang, emily and gang at one of the resturant at lavanda. Had our dinner our there with that big group of people.

Next activity which was also our last activity as at party world orchard. We all went there after our dinner. As my birthday was the same with emily's, we both received a birthday cake and i am surprised. Received a birthday card with their wishes in it and some presents. We ended our singing session around 3am plus.

Thanks for the presents you all gave me..ya liang, liang, emily, leya, len and gang..thanks alot

You left, left for your happiness that you found. Yet i am still stuck, stuck in my own trap..Stuck in my own pain. If my pain can achieve your happiness, i will rather be stuck inside my own pain FOREVER...!!

2008-05-06T19:40:00.002+08:00

Having nights out now, so now at home.

sleepless nights in camp...

Answer is almost out..reasons for you treating me like this.

sad..yes. maybe i should just let go.

2008-05-04T20:45:00.002+08:00

Booking in soon le.. atmosphere seems heavy. Used to booked in with a satisfied feeling, but i cant really find this kind of feeling now...is like gone le.

Hais, life suck..

i miss u..

2008-05-04T18:04:00.001+08:00

Kaos, super bored and its killing me..

2008-05-04T07:18:00.002+08:00

bored, so did some quiz.. -.-"

Your Mind is 72% Cluttered

Your mind is quite cluttered. And like most clutter, it's a bunch of crap you don't need.

Try writing down your worst problems and fears. And then put them out of your mind for a while.

How Cluttered is Your Mind?

You Are 20% Happy

You know that there's more to life than how you've been living it.

Life can be rough at times, but most of your unhappiness is self-inflicted.

How Happy Are You?

You Have Your Sarcastic Moments

While you're not sarcastic at all times, you definitely have a cynical edge.

In your opinion, not all people are annoying. Some are dead!

And although you do have your genuine moments, you can't help getting your zingers in.

Some people might be a little hurt by your sarcasm, but it's more likely they think you're hilarious.

How Sarcastic Are You?

You Are An ISFP

The Artist

You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).

You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children.

Simply put, you enjoy beauty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.

Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs.

In love, you are quiet and sweet yet very passionate. You love easily.

You have an underlying love for all living things, and it's easy for you to accept someone into your heart.

At work, you do best in an unconventional position. You express yourself well and can work with almost anyone.

You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer.

How you see yourself: Sympathetic, kind, and communicative

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Incompetent, insecure, and overly sensitive

What's Your Personality Type?

2008-05-04T06:04:00.006+08:00

Booked out on friday,

Didnt step out of my house since then as liang they all went overseas so i had no one to go out with.

Have been smoking quite furiously outside and even in camp. Scraries part is when i am alone and i tent to think about things, i smoke more. Even my mum scolded me for smoking so much, she said i am worse then one of my uncle who smoke alot too. Cigrattes seems to have become my best friend when i am sad and alone.

Some things i really dont understand, i dont understand why a person can change so fast and become like a stranger to me. Lots of things wondering in my mind, getting rid of it seems difficult..sloving it seems even harder. Guess i will just leave it wondering and continue to numb myself with nicotine..

recover soon stupid da xiang, always getting sick recently =(~

mentally tired* but who will understand?

爱你在伤口

2008-05-03T03:02:00.002+08:00

一个伤口复原要多久, 一道疤痕会留多久.

我不是害怕痛, 只怕永久.

你已深深地刺穿我内心深处, 最深的角落..我疼.

不是因为你伤了我而是你让我真正明白, 爱你在伤口.

2008-04-30T09:55:00.002+08:00

Currently in camp now, just finished my CCNA final e-exam. It's been a long time since i blog.

Not in a good mood recently also, so i'm kindna hot tempered.

Last sunday,

Went out at about evening to to Tcc cafe at raffles with ya liang and liang. We went there to meet the rest. Slack and talk cock awhile. There was this guy edwin which me, liang and ya liang dont really like him. Because he once said suan me botak before, so i dont like him.

We went with the rest to party world at orchard. Me, liang and ya liang started to disturb him and made him pai seh in front of the rest. Had supper near bugis and home sweet home.

Nothing much about my life now, just felt that army indeed changed my lifestyle alot. People around you will start going away and stuffs like that..sometimes felt sad about it but i cant do anything either too.

2008-04-13T21:04:00.002+08:00

Hais, lazy to update. Know u wont come and read also..

Just hope to meet u more often.hais

I'm just..just.. useless

2008-04-12T03:15:00.005+08:00

Just booked out..

Not a nice week for me, been quite stress and emotional in camp. Keep scolding people..i dont know why also.

Reach home, bathe, eat and meet gan ma and ya liang at compass.p. Drank and smoke quite alot. Talk about alot of things too. Went home at 2am plus. Thanks ya liang for his bike lift.

我是懂得,
你也会懂得...

Shadow in my heart had thicken up bit by bit each day. Trying my very best to clear it but it just cant go away.

I can sense it, the change in your heart. Hopes turn into pain. Day by day, bit by bit you become colder towards me..

Things just happened, i didn't blame you nor others..i will only blame myself. Blame myself for being a useless guy..

Feelings for you didn't change since the day i say i ike you..forgotten happy memories will always remain deep in my heart.

Pain, what is pain? It is just a very bad feeling that will remain in your heart.
I know i am no longer the "one" you are looking forward to. But it's ok, as long as you remain happy i am satisfied. I am willing to scarifice my pain for your happiness. I will bear torturing and pain myself alone.. .. ..

Happiness can be cruel..

can things be change?

2008-04-06T20:45:00.008+08:00

A brief update again..

Friday,

Booked out and reach home at 8plus in the evening. Went to meet gan ma and ya liang at compass.p and we went to 24 hour kopitiam near north vista sec there and had supper. After that they went to my house and watch Kung Fu Dunk...they went home at 4am.

Saturday,

Met ya liang at vivo at 6pm, then he came at 7pm -.-" First time he was late, i was the one who was late everytime.haha. Went shop around, find a friend who at vivo, slack till 10pm plus..gan ma called and we went to find her. Went to ya liang house first because he wanted to change and ride his bike. Cause his house was near my uncle's house, so i went to my uncle's house while waiting.

Drop by riko's house and wait for her..see her for only 5mins and she had to go...so sad.hais

After that went to find gan ma at her block's void deck and slack till 4am plus.

Sunday,

Woke up around 1pm..not a good day cause later had to book in again.sian. Went to vivo shop for awhile and i bought a bag which i saw ytd while shopping. Liang and gang was at vivo too so smoke with ah liang.

Went back home to take my hp charger as i had forgotten.

booking in le..hais

I REALLY MISS U ALOT.but there's nothing i can do.. =(

2008-03-31T02:59:00.004+08:00

Gonna write a brief update..

Got posted to signal unit. Now undergoing training at stagtmon camp.

Friday

Booked out on that day. Shared cab home with two of my bunk mates. After bath and dinner, went to Orchard to meet ya liang and we join up with the rest of the gang at cine. Catched a movie with them..An Empress And The Warriors..Quite a nice movie, three and a half stars.

Saturday

Met up with Qing yuan, joseph and shi kai. We went to bugis..was planning to get some apparels but didnt have to mood to shop around because i was having bad flu for the whole day. So we catch a movie "shutter" three and a half star for that movie also.haha. Played pool after that at pool junction..saw kerou, sakura they all outside..so qiao.

About 10plus to 11, went to cine to meet up with liang, ya liang and gang( too many names too mention ). Catch another movie with them again..LOL "Vintage Point". This movie is gave four stars because i love the story line. Had our supper and went home..

Sunday.

Woke up around 2pm.. Slack and smoke till 5plus and went to bugis with emily, liang and ya liang. We shop around and i bought a top and a bottom. Liang bought alot of clothes..

Went to meet up with the rest at pool junction..played pool there awhile and went to orchard to have supper. Len was quite a fast driver.lols. Slacked there till 1plus and we went home.

Going to book in by 7am..

REALLY MISS U ALOT :( hais

2008-03-23T16:27:00.003+08:00

Booked out this morning after my 24 hours guard duty. Was sick because i didn't catch enough rest. Got alot of mosqito bite also >.<>

2008-03-21T14:31:00.003+08:00

Yesterday**

Went out in the afternoon. Ya liang drove emily's car and come and fetched me at my block. As emily's car needs to be service, so we went to my dad's workplace at Ubi. Stayed there for about an hour before going to to Eunos CC because ya liang wanted to get his singpass thingy done. We ahd lunch at nearby coffee shop. After that we went to tampines. Gan ma was working there..chat with her awhile. Catched at movie with pheobe and joseph...

By the time is already night time. So i followed liang and ya liang to return the car to emily. Had our supper at orchard.

today~

need to book in later le.hais.

can feel the change.....in u.

2008-03-20T04:56:00.004+08:00

Just reached home not long ago. Went to have dinner with Liang, ya liang, emily, Len and his girlfriend. Met ya liang first at bugis. Bought a ear ring. Later had movie date with some of my old friends around evening time.

Really hope that you can go ba =(.

胡彦斌 - Waitng For You

金色的舞鞋伴着音乐

Baby 你的眼睛是一弯深遂的湖水

忽明忽灭掩藏不可思议的美

让我晕眩像在悬崖边

谁知一睁眼就不见
waiting for you

I'm waiting for you waiting for you kiss me at the night

为何你Cinderella 留给我一望无际的思念

waiting for you

I'm waiting for you waiting for you come here to my dream

牵着你不断旋转

一直到黑发成了银线

waiting for you waiting for you

直到永远
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ya i'm waiting for u

2008-03-19T05:50:00.003+08:00

The pain which i don't wana experience. The pain which i will not forget.

The look in your eyes explained all. Respond from you is getting lesser and lesser each day. Worried but no use also...

Its ok..used to it already.

2008-03-18T15:58:00.005+08:00

Its a long time since i last blog..

8th march

Passed out on that day.. Did a parade and a performance before we can go home. Went to party world later that night with usual peeps..

10th march

Booked in late becuase i woke up late. Got confined..till tuesday morning.haha.

11th march

After booking out, rushed home to get change and went for my TP. Meet Riko and sent her to take bus 27. So unlucky as that day was raining so heavily. Everything was ok during the test untill the tester asked me to go back to the school...as the rain was big, i didn't see a curb on my left and i mounted on it.so sway lo..if not can pass liao the tester told me.

13th march

Went for lesson conducted by liang's gf.emily. Me and the group went to have our supper at mount faber. Scenery there was nice..

14th march.

Met ya liang and we went to queenstown shopping center to see my clothes. Bought a bermuders from there. Went to vivo after that. Wanted to find Riko but she ended her work early so didnt get to see her. Bought at polo tee from there too. About 10pm i went back to sengkang and meet joseph. Me, joseph and his friends went to ktv pub and drink. Reached home about 3plus to 4am. Thanks gan ma for the 2 t.shirts ^^.

15th march

Actually meeting riko to go for a movie but she cant make it..so meet her about 5plus and we went to her friend's house. I left at 6.30 cos i had to booked in by 9pm.

16th march

Did my first guard duty....

17th march

Booked out and reached home at 11plus in the morning. Rested awhile and meet jing jie in the evening as she got some problems she wana find somebody to talk to..

Today..

Nothing much..just rotting my ass off at home smoking.

~~~~~

没有人能了解我现在的心情, 我只想要靠近也很想要抱紧.

眼看你的表情仿佛已经说明.

Stressed out, worn out..but I think no one will understand me also ba..just hate myself for being so useless.

2008-03-01T01:47:00.003+08:00

23rd feb

Went to sing K at party world with Liang, ya liang, gan ma and emily. Then went to pool junction to play pool with the rest of liang's friends. Went home about 2am plus. Had a great time with them.haha.

Still cant get to meet Riko that week.

Today

Booked out at about 7pm plus on friday. Thanks to Melvin who is my seciton mate, his dad send me home. Reached home about 8pm plus. Went to meet Riko ^^. Wait for her at compass for about an hour. Slack for awhile and ride her home. Although is a short period of time, but i felt happy seeing her.

Hope we get to see each other more often after i Pass Out in army.

发现原来爱情不是真心就可以

2008-02-10T12:13:00.001+08:00

Cny day two :

Didnt went to malaysia because i cant wake up.haha. My parents went with my relatives only. Had K session with Liang and his friends at chinatown. We had our dinner after singing and went to Len's office to gamble. Gan ma joined in later on. Reach home about 2am and gamble again with my sister's friends =X.

Cny day three :

Bought from gan ma two levis jeans because she had discount. Met ya liang and he bought two jeans from gan ma too.haha. Went to my relatives house to had dinner. Gamble again =X.

Today.. had to book in to camp at 6pm..hais

just hate myself

2008-02-08T02:48:00.001+08:00

Booked out on new year eve. Share cab with my platoon mates back home. And i accidentally left my handphone on the cab..lucky that taxi driver willing to send my phone back to me.

Had my reunion dinner with my family, two of my relatives, ah liang, ya liang, emily and gan ma. We had steamboat, and my mum kept forcing me to eat..so full.

We had a small gambling session after that and i lost quite alot..sad.

Cny day one :

As usual every year my family will had to go back to malaysia to vist my grandmother. Journey there was about 3hour plus. Camed back home about 12am plus.

Somethings are drifting away, and i can feel it. Drenched in the past, drenched by time. Felt lost and helpless yet there's nothing i can do. Nobody will understand..just......nobody.

2008-02-03T13:15:00.001+08:00

Chinese new year is near, haven got the time to really look for my clothes =(.

Booked out yesterday afternoon and went to haven lunch with my platoon mates. Reach home about 3plus and went jog.haha

Met ah liang, gan ma and liang's "friend" at bugis. Alot of people all cramp at buigis street..ahd a hard time walking through -.-"

After that went down to outram park and meet Riko..she forgot to return her stall key.haha and we accompany her to Vivo to return her key. We had supper at habour front and took cab home. The taxi driver drive so fast untill riko vomit..lols.sayang lah. After riko alighted at her house, me gan ma and liang went back to compass and slack till around 2am plus.

Miss that chou da xiang =(.

2008-01-27T12:45:00.000+08:00

Life seems so confusing. Lost track of the world outside. Things change so quickly...

Stucked and loosing again..

Booked out yesterday, went to had dinner with my platoon mates at KFC. Meet Liang, ya liang, gan ma and two of my platoon friends after i went home and bathed.

Cant get a chance to meet riko this weekend=(.

Got a bad feeling that something bad is going to happen to me.

2008-01-20T17:07:00.000+08:00

Booked out at 830pm. Went to find Qing yuan and gang to play pool at hougang.

Then rush home to bathe and meet Riko at compass. She was sick..so i brought some medicine for her and sent her home with my ride.

Today went to compass to meet her again.haha. She went to see doctor. But the way she behave like not sick, can laugh like mad girl.lols

Tiring day, need rush down to beach road again later.sad case.

TAKE CARE HOR U DA XIANG.~

2008-01-13T16:38:00.000+08:00

Just came back home and had my dinner.

Went to be hair stylist for photo shoot early in the morning. Quite a fun job but tiring. Woke up at about 830am and i didnt get enough sleep also, felt so shag. There's a new job next week for a show at DXO, but dont know whether can join mah because maybe will be confined next week.

Saturday~

Came back home at about 6plus in the evening. Went to watch movie with Riko and her friends but i was damn late because i went to a wrong place..so they went in to watch first.

Sent Riko back home yesterday ^^

Must take care hor da ben xiang*

Got to go, rushing down to beach road later before booking in.

2008-01-01T14:42:00.000+08:00

Went to bugis with shi kai to shop around yesterday. Got myself a hat and T.shirt. Train back to compass and shi kai went to my house to borrow some pants.

Send him home and went to find Riko near Bowen Secondary and ride her home too.haha. Don't know why sometimes find her cute =X.hahas

Happy new year to everyone.

A new year, a new start. Hope there won't be unhappy things happening again.

Booking in soon. =(.

2007-12-31T15:51:00.000+08:00

Booked out on saturday, went to jurong point to eat Anderson ice-cream with my bunk mates. Than went back to compass to find my friends.

Met Riko and her sister for awhile yesterday. She accompany to buy my blue tape for my army. She went off later on because she have BBQ. She got drunk at BBQ and i rush down to her house bus stop and wait for her there..stupid make me worry >.<

Life had changed alot since after i went into army. The drastic change which i had to overcome. Friends are not that close anymore.

世界忽然变形忽然很安静

无助的我一秒间失去重心

2007-12-25T17:46:00.000+08:00

Just now went to meet Riko and gan ma awhile~

Need to book in later le..hais =(.

Must drink more water wor Riko~

2007-12-25T15:58:00.000+08:00

Booked out yesterday around 6pm to 7pm.

Shared taxi with 2 of my bunk friends. Went to meet Riko at compass, she and her sister waited for me to prepare at my house.

Than went to orchard with her group of friends. Alot people spraying those fake snow..we were like kept avoiding. Gan ma and joseph join in after that.

Met Liang and Ya liang back at sengkang till about 5am.

2007-12-20T05:41:00.000+08:00

Finally got a chance to book out but need to book in again later..sad.

Meet Riko last night and sent her home =).

Then meet Liang and Ya liang after that.

Hope time fly faster in camp~

2007-12-14T07:20:00.000+08:00

Got no time to blog. Will blog after i booked out.

take care all my friends

take care riKO~

2007-12-13T02:31:00.000+08:00

My dog just pass away because of liver failure.haiz. "Lucky" was sent to hospital for just a day and it was just gone the day after.

Three years plus of love for my dog. You are the cutest dog in my heart always. Will miss you..

"Dogs are men's best friend" Now i realised what it means.

My whole family was not in a very good mood today.

One day left..

Went back to see doctor again because of my injured right hand. Went back to compass to book my dental appointment and took some photos with my friends in metro, but qing yuan lost those photos.sad.

Rushed down to meet Panda, Ya liang and Liang together with my group of friends. Had our dinner at soul garden.

2007-12-12T06:11:00.000+08:00

2days left..

Enlistment is very near. My heart is getting deeper yet i cant help it. My hand had yet to recover and thats bad.

Went to MDIS with Liang, Ya liang and Chen to settle our course things. Took some very lame pictures there.hahas. Had our dinner at nearby hawker center which is our favourite place last time during studies. Finally got to taste the famous fishball noodle again..

Went to find Riko and Chen went to find his girlfriend at tampines. Bought her a soft toy and had afew snap shots on our way back in train.

Alot of things happened this past few months which i learn alot from there. Although i loose somethings but on the other hand, i gain back somethings too. Its rather difficult to explain because only those who experienced it will know.

There are always ups and downs in life. Nobody dies a virgin, because life and fck us all. Most importantly we must have the heart and courage to face all the barries in life.

2007-12-11T02:27:00.000+08:00

Sunday

My dad drive me to my camp to take a look. The journey from my house to my camp is damn far..sad case. Then we went back to compass to get some of my army stuffs. Went back home about 9pm plus, took a nap and was late when i meet Riko.hahas. Gave her a keychain.

Liang and Ya Liang came down to find me to slack. Went home about 5am plus.

Today went to see doctor near my old house at ang mo kio. Hope my injury can heal before i go army. Wanted to meet pheobe and pam but i was late due to some unforseen circumstances. Liang and Ya Liang waited for me at bugis. Together with their group of friends we went to play dota for 2 hours.lols. After that one of Ya Liang's friend drove us to eat n drove us home.thanks alot man.

Recieved a lion soft toy from Riko today.hehe. RaHHH!

2007-12-08T05:23:00.000+08:00

6days left..so sad =(.

Stay at home the whole day untill at night. Went to compass to meet Riko with my bicylcle. Saw Jeff and May. Slack around with riKo then send her back home again.

Meet Liang at 3am till now.hahas

Later going out with Liang and his group of friends.

Weet new blog skin, new start of life.

Special thanks to Riko who help me choose and design. RAHHHHH !hahahas

2007-12-07T02:19:00.000+08:00

One week left..precious week

Surprised that so many things happened within that few months. Scary part is time flies really that fast. Things kind of slowing down now, i just have to adapt to new changes.

Went out with gan ma today. We went suntec and sing Kbox, before that we go SSDC to book my things. Meet my friends at compass after that. Ride Riko home because she missed her timing on last bus.hahas.

2007-12-05T16:18:00.000+08:00

Favourites
Favourite Color: Black,white, purple
Favourite Food: Hor Fan, curry.
Favourite Movie: War movies, Bitter sweet life
Favourite Sport: pool, flatland, swim
Favourite Day of the Week: Saturday
Favourite Season: Winter
Favourite Ice Cream: Chocolate

Currents
Current Mood: Moodless
Current Clothes: shorts only
Current Desktop: custom made
Current Time: 4.27pm
Current Surroundings: in my room
Current Annoyances: enlistment and other things
Current Thoughts: Why rain for so long, i wanna smoke =X

Firsts
First Best Friend: last time in primary sch de friend
First Crush: Cant remember le
First Movie: cant remember too
First Lie: the day when i was born.hahaha
First Music: kindergarden learn de music?hahaa

Lasts
Last Drink: plain water
Last Car Ride: bus
Last Crush: guess urself
Last Phone Call: my gan ma
Last CD Played: rainie lastest album

Have you evers?
Have you ever dated one of your best friend: no?
Have you ever broken the law : yes of cos, almost everybody does?
Have you ever been arrested?: yes.
Have you ever been on TV: got, in my dream
Have you ever kissed someone you dont know: nope

Random 5 things you are good at:
i think i am good at nothing.

4 things you've done today:
Doing these weird questions
reply comments
smoke
helping friend

3 things you can hear right now:
rain drops
my fan
songs

Nah, your request..

2007-12-04T00:06:00.000+08:00

Have done a great deed today. Also know quite a number of things today. Finally let go the one i loved after so many things that happened. Also finally understand what is 有一种爱叫做放手.

Although there is pain i need to get through but is worth it, it's better than three of us sad. Fate can be cruel, fate can be happiness. Depands on how u looked at it. For me, i had both cruel and happiness. It is cruel because i cant be with you after i realised how much i need you. Happy because i can see you and him are doing great and i know you two will do great in the future..don't disappoint me wor. May god bless this happy couple =). I don't blame you two, 你们没有错爱是自由..你们不幸福我会难过.

Learn and understand alot of things throughout this short period of time. And i am not the person the you all assumed. Somethings i did, i had my reasons behind it. Hope you all understand. There is always two way of looking at things.

Memories are left, mistakes have been made. We looked into the past sometimes to understand what we have done wrongly and make sure not to repeat the same mistakes in the future. Who knows 也许某天还会笑着想起你我的回忆.

Felt a sense of relieve after knowing the truth and sloving the problems i am facing. The burden is not so heavy now.Used up my last bit of courage to accepted the truth which is what i have done today, but its ok. They are happy, i will be happy too. Who knows maybe i grew stronger mentally after what i have been through. Hope things will get back to the same between my friends and hope you really treat me as a friend also. Don't avoid me because i am your ex.

2007-12-03T16:37:00.000+08:00

Truth not yet to be told...

Things are not right.

2007-11-30T02:11:00.000+08:00

我们说好就算分开一样做朋友..felt like you dont even treat me as a friend.

Avoiding is what you are doing now.

现实说过有爱还不够

2007-11-28T01:03:00.000+08:00

The care and concerned i am craving from you is gone for now. I really dont want those memories we built to be torn down like that..i really dont want this to happen to us.

I DONT WANT!!

2007-11-27T23:31:00.000+08:00

Life seems so meaningless. The one i cared alot had rejected all my concerns. She dont need this loser to care anymore. She had found another guy willing to shower love on her.

The colours i used to have, had already faded away. My world is black and white now.

Whenever i walk pass the place we used to sit, i will slow down my footsteps and stare at the place. Happy memories we had there, those laughters, hugs and kisses appeared everytime i walk pass.

Got beaten up by 8 to 10 guys at ps yesterday.. most of them aim for my head n back.

Felt quite nice for some reason. Is like those pain i had kept in my heart had been let out for that few minutes.

Had some bad injuries and need to go for XRAY, but nevermind. I like it..i love the pain i had now.

2007-11-25T13:29:00.000+08:00

19days left

We are lost in a maze, I remembered i told you that no matter what happens..we will find our way out. But in the end i am the only one left lost and helpless in that maze.

Truth are out. The thing i fear from the begining had already come true. So true that i cant even accept it and face myself again. I am nothing but a shadow to you now. It hurts me so much..so deep.

Numbered days are finally my hell days. Thought those days will be happy for me but i was wrong. You said before that you want to spend more time with me before my enlistment but i think you will not do that now. You have another guy to be with now...

Smashed hopes. Its better for me to stay in the dark..

Problems after problems. I cant take it, i really cant. I think there wont be so much problem if i dont exist in you and my friend's social circle. Perhaps i should go to a far away place without troubles and problems. Maybe everything will return back to the same if i go and there's no need for me to think that much too.

If i really go..hope all of you all take care, espacially you. Dont smoke that much and remember to take regular meals. Listen to your parents more. Do well in your studies. Wish that "mao mao lian" will always remain between you and me, our memories.... Thank god for letting her found a much more better guy than me. I wont obstruct you anymore. I will face the consequence myself for letting you go..

The last words i want to say is : I loved you from the beginning until now..believe it or not..is up to you le.

2007-11-24T02:45:00.000+08:00

Took picture with 77th street founder on Thursday.

Chest hurts sometimes...but its ok, i like it. The more it hurts, the more i love it.

Forgotten about my status now. Cared too much, asked too much. Sometimes i just cant help it. My heart still hurts everyday for some reasons. Every minute every seconds you dripped away like water. Your presense and hope is getting weaker, maybe is a good news for you but is a bad news for me.

Every bit of hope i tried my best to grab but i'm loosing every bit i grabbed.
Have been forgotten faster than i have expected..WHY. Our memories are really as fragile as glass?that can be shatter into pieces at anytime?

I remembered i have said " as long as we loved each other, no matter how much pain and barrier we faced..we will conquer it" it seems so empty now.

难道我没有权利说我不愿意.

Reality had force me to the peak of breaking down..speechless yet helpless.

~Surprised to know what i have yet to know~

2007-11-23T00:39:00.000+08:00

Everything that happened now is all my fault...ALL MY FCKING FAULT.

i cant bear it anymore..

You dont even seems to care about me now and i am loosing you bit by bit everyday..WHY WHY..I DONT WAN THIS TO HAPPEN, but WTF can i do...nothing just NOTHING.

i am just....

Weird to see what i have saw today.

Sorry to let you see me like that today. Just suddenly felt unwell and kept trembling..didnt mean to scare you. but i know you wont care also.

2007-11-19T15:05:00.000+08:00

给了你祝福又盼望你回心转意

有种矛盾的情绪

他给的幸福你从笑容就能说明
我还凭什么关心　怎么你不抗拒

我猜是我的错爱怎么被偷走

你的手那么冷, 总会有人..抢著为你加温

2007-11-19T02:15:00.000+08:00

Now everything is all about him. Forgotten, and left behind..in your heart, i am nothing now. Maybe i'm just a piece of junk or shit to you now.

Miserable truth that i have no courage to accept.
Felt so mentally disabled.
I cant see what is in front of me.

I really hate myself..why am i always so useless..WHY. I hate god, hate you for torturing me.

No more strength..No more energy
To face the cruel fate that i am experiencing
Torn up and shattered into so many pieces that cant even be salvage.

No more reason left behind to let you stay.
No compassion, no kindess from you.
Forced to welcome the fate of our destiny.
Helpless, i'm so useless.

2007-11-17T04:02:00.000+08:00

Trying so hard to act happy in front of you all.haiz.just...just...never mind.

Thers's really nothing i can do..nothing.

Browsed through those gifts and letters had worsen my mood.just cant help it.

Felt so cold while chatting with you, so different from the past. Sometimes I hope that i wont wake up after i fall asleep. I cant accept it, i really cant. Enduring the pain that i had never ever been through in my life. Fell so deep, cant even climb up now.

2007-11-16T20:01:00.000+08:00

Its really torturing mentally..how long can i fcking endure. Why things have to end this way? I just cant stop thinking...

2007-11-16T11:05:00.000+08:00

你要离开我知道很简单.

原来只要几个人改变了角色和位子, 自从他出现开始我就什么都不是. 所以你说我们不是你和我, 但你却没有真的心疼我.

在挣扎你说过的话. 牵着你陪着我也只是曾经.
我根本不想分开为什么还要我用微笑来带过.
不用担心的太多, 我会慢慢走开.
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份.

我会一个人走,带走寂寞, 希望你好好过.

hate myself. hate myself for being such a loser, such a failure.
Fck me..fck up life.

saw blood on my tissue paper.
Bad headache~

2007-11-16T02:25:00.000+08:00

28days left, days that i am going to experience in hell.

Friends become couple, and turn back into friends status. She just said "its over", yet i cant do anything..anything. I have lots of words in my heart to express out to you, but i guess..i rather keep it in my heart. From today onwards, my status had officially been changed.

I am really very sorry for making you sad all this while, i didn't mean to. So many words left unsaid, so many things left undone. Hopes turn to disappointments. Seems like acting in a drama. I am only the one who knows my story best, i am the one who knows how i am feeling now.

Always bluffing people that i am fine, ask them not to worry. None of my friends know what happened, i had my personal reason. The only option left is the blog my heart out. Have to take all the pain myself now. Have been smoking heavily since that incident..guess i wont be able to cut down now. I am going to thank god and Fck u god for giving me such a great joke..please continue to joke my life till death.

He's a good guy i supposed..replacing the place i occupied all this while. The thing i fear most had really come true. Hope he really can take care of you ba.. Finally understand why she refused to allow me to visit her at work..haiz.

Just cried.. punched the wall and i can see black n blue now.

" I will never stop loving you" i still remembered the sms i received. "Happy to see you everyday" is what you used to told me in the past. Those words seems to have lost its meaning now.

My doubts is cleared now. The karma of pain and consequences is what i am going to face now.

Killed in the darkness finally. No hopes, numbed.

2007-11-13T02:08:00.000+08:00

Everything had changed. Changed after that incident.

Perhaps you heart towards me is dead already..

I had become a stranger to you in that second. 你口中说出再见坚决如铁.

Death sentence had already been made.
No more courage to face myself, no more courage to stand up again.
Smoke myself throughout the night seems to be my everyday life.
Gone! gone in that second.
Masked myself in front of my friends and family..is the only thing i could do now.

Have you found your new happiness to persuit?
If you have, just let me know. I really want to know, to prepare myself, to clear my doubts.

You said we are friends now. But i felt that my status to you is worse than a friend.

31 days left for me. Torturing and painful days I need to go through. Who will understand how i feel? I had nobody to seek help. Its driving me crazy. God loves to play trick on me, WHY?

Mirror reflects my sorrows.
Mirror reflects my pain.
The person i see in the mirror is no longer me.
A person with no courage, no soul, no happiness is what i see everytime i looked into the mirror.

还在寻找曾经每次你对我的好

还在祈祷最爱的你回到我怀抱

你不知道我有多难熬

2007-11-11T04:34:00.000+08:00

Its ok to feel pain. It's all my fault, all my mistake. What is there to moan about?

If you don't want to be hurt again, I will carry the burden for you.

Regrets after regrets. Problems after problems. Pain after pain. I cant even regonised myself now.

Maybe this is my karma, or god love to play tricks on me. Play more tricks..i love it. Ply untill i kill myself better.

"Care" what is care? I don't know it now. The word "care" seems to loose it's meaning in my heart.

2007-11-11T03:02:00.000+08:00

Time is getting shorter each day. My heart is getting heavier and heavier and i cant take it anymore.

Everybody is treating so cold..i am failing myself.

Everyday is a torture..

How am i going to do to accept the fact?

I know nobody cares for me now..ya i fcking like it.

Just let me die..

I am worth nothing now...

2007-11-09T01:56:00.000+08:00

Ya, a bastard. Trying to act,be a flirt and play people's feelings, her friend just scold me...

You all really think i want? Do you all know my story?

Yeah, maybe you all are right. I am nothing better than shit. Shit me forever.

No matter how much i explain myself, i am eyed as a bad guy. So go ahead and curse me and scold me.

Everything just end with one mistake..ya i know its my fault. With that one mistake, people give me a death sentence..even you.

Good! how i wish i could die now.

She said "I guess its finally over". What can i do? 走到感情关键时候却握不住你的手, 还能有什么藉口让爱再回头.

2007-11-06T18:12:00.000+08:00

Everything that happens, it's my fault.

I cause harm, pain.

I am monster.

2007-10-27T08:56:00.000+08:00

48 days left.

I'm tired, worn out but just couldn't get to sleep.

One pack of smokes is my everyday life now.

Just couldn't stop thinking...

Hate myself.
Blogging my fck-up life. So fck-up that i cant face it anymore.
Everything is so fck-up.

Thanks Liang for slacking with me.

2007-10-25T23:02:00.000+08:00

I am no longer myself from today onwards. Dead~

我的不安

那么沉重

只有你不懂

2007-10-25T20:39:00.000+08:00

Its getting heavier everyday. I cant carry it anymore..i just cant.

I see no light, i see no hope..all I see is pain. I am enduring but it is weakening me as well. Perhaps its time for me to do something..soon.

I am just a nobody now.

我受了重伤己不再对爱渴望

握紧的手始终要放

留得住的只是荒壤.

2007-10-25T09:22:00.000+08:00

51 days left.

Things seems to get worsen each day. Things just happened too fast. I have lost my grip, lost my feelings, lost my opportunity and I am loosing you soon. The only thing I can do is to numb myself with smokes everyday.

Felt that something is blocking me, pushing me away from you. There's a wall..a thick wall and I cant get throught it.

Things have changed..and maybe this is my fate. A loser like me knows NOTHING. A failure like me WILL CONTINUE TO FAIL THROUGHTOUT MY ENTIRE LIFE. A retard like me will ALWAYS REMAIN AS A RETARD. I will get use to this kind of fck-up life.

I dont need symphathise, I dont need care and concern, I dont deserve anything.

Too much countless shadow in my heart..so dark. I need no light and I need no help. Just leave me to die..no more courage and confidence to face myself again.

It is always things that happened that change people, but can people change things from happening?

Happiness will always be forgotten

brain dead~

2007-10-23T19:36:00.000+08:00

Hate me for all you like.

2007-10-23T02:13:00.000+08:00

Sunday

Went to make my specs for army at Simei. Dad bought me a pair of shoes too. Thanks dad for treating me so good. Went back to compass point to meet yoshi. He came to my house, slack and sleep.

Monday

Sent yoshi back to his apartment with my bike. Went home got headache then sleep till 9plus. Went to compass point meet gan ma..talk awhile. Then ride home in the rain..feel so good. Felt like my troubles are washed away by the rain.

一个人在这个夜里

孤单得难以入睡

真的想找个人来陪

不愿意一个人喝醉

醉了以后就会流泪

数着你给的伤悲

为什么你总让我憔悴

别说我的眼泪你无所谓

看我流泪你头也不回

哭过了泪干了心变成灰

我想要的美你还不想给

伤了的我的心怎去面对

爱给了你我不后悔只

希望你给我一次机会

让我去追让我去飞毕

竟爱过的心需要安慰需要你安慰

Some words are fated to stay in my heart which include......................

I dont need people to sympathise me also

2007-10-21T06:27:00.000+08:00

Saturday was quite a day for me.

My school friend Liang came to let me style his hair.haha and i drove his car again =X.

Went for a movie with my friends after that at PS.

Came back to CP to slack awhile, then go jeff's house with kai quan n yoshi till 2am.

I was waiting for Liang to come to his house..he came at 2am.

Then me, Liang, yoshi and kai quan went for supper at Jalan Kayu..Liang drove us there.haha.

After sending both of them home, we went to slack near my house till 5.30am.

The look in your eyes is different. It seems that something in fading inside your heart..fading fast and I cant do a damn thing about it..loser me.

Did I gave myself too much false hope?

少给我一点希望

希望就不是奢望

2007-10-20T04:46:00.000+08:00

我以为你会快乐

当我的拥抱抱不住你的苦

谁会相信我要比你更加无助

2007-10-19T06:38:00.000+08:00

I blame myself everyday.

Blame myself for being so stupid

Blame myself for being such an asshole

Blame myself for being a failure

I brought pain to people

I brought pain to you.

Its all my fault, what have I turn u into?
I am just a monster, nothing but a monster.

Just hate me, hate me for everything i did. JUST HATE ME !

I am sorry.

55days left. 2packs of smoke. Cant get to sleep.

2007-10-18T05:44:00.000+08:00

幸福在日子里一天天的累积尘垢

终于要忍受

看你空着的手

在回家的路上竟一先一后

是不是从前的点滴温柔

逐渐溜走

变成了伤口

是为甚么到今天才发现两个人有那么多的要求

是不是不管我对你多好

吻你多久

也不能回头

你一个人无言泪流

是否为了失去自由

虽然睡在左右

也只是熟悉的朋友

56 days left. One pack of smoke again..Cant sleep again.

Would everything be back to the same again after this week? I cant accept it.

流光了泪水也不能回到那好时候

是否再握紧你手也失去温柔

谁在最需要的时候轻轻拍着我肩膀

我不问你又何必掩饰
你过的好辛苦我比谁都清楚

一开始就给的糊里糊涂
想回头却又不知如何结束
你装作很满足我比谁都清楚

快乐背后深深藏着痛楚
坚强的面对然后偷偷的哭

2007-10-17T06:30:00.000+08:00

57 days left.

Limited time to do a bundle of things.

Everyday, every hour, every minute, every seconds seems to be precious from now. Have i been wasting my time in the past? Should i used my confused heart to do my things and face my problems?

Sleepless nights, countless cigarettes is my everyday life. Thinking of problems i am facing and problems I am going to face. It seems that there is no end to it. Stucked in the shadow, getting tired of life. Great pains with slient crys. No hope and no goals. Caged in hell with unexplainable sufferings. Is life really as positive as it seems?

I have made people suffer and i am really sorry for that.

Happy moments are like a dream, shattered when you open your eyes. So afraid to fall asleep, so afraid to close my eyes, so afraid to face the pain again when i open my eyes.

I miss your sweetness, I missed your love.
I love the way you look into my eyes, I love the way you smile.
You brought me light with your heart, giving me directions, giving me strength.

But

Things have changed when you walked away.
I didn't blame you and I didn't hate you. You have got your own reasons too.
Lost without you but memories will always stay.
How am I going to be strong again without you.

Trying my best to find my way out, find my way out of the maze.
So difficult, so complicated.
So lost, So tired.

emm, think i should end here ba. What a freak i am now. Don't know what i am thinking and typing also.

2007-10-16T03:23:00.000+08:00

Today wasn't a great day for me either. Received my enlistment letter. Was quite shock after seeing the letter..going for army at 14th december which means that i had only one month plus left before going army.

Suddenly felt that i had not much time left. So many things left undone, the things i want to do and fulfill before my enlistment date.

Things may just change, lifestyle, looks, family, friends, thinking perception, you.

Some words i just couldn't speak...

Haiz regrets after regrets..i couldn't face it anymore.

Smoke quite alot today too.

Time is running out.

2007-10-15T06:46:00.000+08:00

Chatted with my school friend ah liang till 6.30am. He advise me about somethings. Thanks Liang.

Things just happened that cannot be undone again even if i really hope it can be.

Sometimes i really wish i could turn back time, amend all the mistakes i have made.

Missing a person is a kind of sickness isn't it? can it be cured?

My heart is already confused, i don't even know what is right or wrong sometimes..i'm just tooo............

cant even slp now =(

才知道有些感受, 除了我自己没人懂.

要放开哪有那么简单

一个忍受寂寞的人

难道这就是所谓的缘分

2007-10-15T00:29:00.000+08:00

Decision had already been made, what can i do?

2007-10-14T22:31:00.000+08:00

Just recover from my sickness. Felt much better physically le, but dont know why still felt stress mentally.

Meet xiu ling(gan ma) and jeff for dinner at MOS burger. Than crap here crap there.haha. After that went to get my contact lens..no money le.sian. Smoke quite alot today too untill gan ma stop me.haha.

Me and jeff went to get strap for our psp too, same design.haha.

Fck-up life

Forgotten one..

2007-10-14T01:14:00.000+08:00

Cant get to slp. I just could not stop thinking. Things just change in a split second. Felt cold, felt weird, felt left out.

haiz should stop here le

2007-10-13T21:07:00.000+08:00

Have been staying at home the whole day. Ate my medicine. Thinking about stuffs.

Nothing special today. Haven touch any cigs today..cos haven go buy yet.

haiz..

2007-10-13T15:39:00.000+08:00

Life isnt going the way i wanted to be. Everything seems so wrong. Happy moments are always short term which i think is quite true. Maybe i am just a fool anyway..a fool in everything i did.

People said, when a chance or opportunity comes..we must grab it. I felt that no matter how tightly i grabbed it, i will always let it slipped away. Y does this kinda things happened to me everytime? Is life so complicated as it seems? What can i do to make life simple?

Whats the point of wanting the things u cant even get it, fight so hard for it, use up all your energy for it, give up everything for it but in the end, you realise you gain nothing. At that point of time, you will feel very stupid and useless.

I love the way u held my hands, the way u hugged me, happy moments we spent together, the way you cared for me..all these things is going to end but i just cant accept it as the truth. I dont want it to end, i dont want it to turn into memories. I know you are giving up soon, can felt it already..everything i do now seems so useless..maybe i am just a loser afterall.

Sometimes i will stare into blank space thinking of things that cannot be altered, thinking about the past, thinking about my future, thinking of you too. What can i do to overcome the sadness i felt, overcome pain i had in the past, overcome the shadow in my heart?

Disappointment flood my heart, waiting becomes the only option i can do..waiting aimlessly..waiting for an answer maybe..this may never come to an end. The answer maybe out, or am i too stupid to realise that? I am loosing aim..loosing everything that i wanted..loosing my pride, confidence, principles of life, loosing you.

The strong light in my heart now is fading away, fading fast and i am losing my way, i didnt know which path i should choose or take, being blind by darkness, maybe it is fate for me to end myself in the dark.

Hate myself anyway, everybody should hate me too.

2007-10-13T12:12:00.000+08:00

Took some pics on jeff's birthday, i post 3 only.haha. Quite a fun day actually. Had my injection before i went out, if not i am going to look like freak.

Hope jeff enjoyed his day also.

2007-10-12T07:06:00.000+08:00

my skin condition is getting worse..cant even get to sleep.damn.

dont know whether i am able to celebrate jeff's birthday anot..89% no ba.

just feel like dying now >.<

2007-10-12T01:16:00.000+08:00

Since i am so damn bored..i will write a new post.haha.

Forgotten about my exam date, suppose to have exam today but i thought my exam was on friday..damn.stm

Do i still have the confidence to face problems in my life again?emm i think no ba..i am like running away from problems instead of facing them. Just had this shadow in my heart which i really cant and dont know how to overcome it. What happens to u psyhologically when all ur loves ones decide to leave u? can u really take the impact? if u can withstand the impact, will there be no damage?

What is the biggest mistake that u have ever made in life? For me, i think is alot ba..

Sometimes i will question myself "will god really be there when u really need them?" For me i think is no ba, always felt that god is playing on me, playing jokes on me..fck up life.

I am sorry i cant be there for u when u need me the most. Sorry to make u so fck up. Sorry for eveything.

Have been hooked up with smoking for one year plus le, how stupid i am to start smoking. Whenever i felt stress i will think of smoke, maybe this is the reson why i cant quit ba.

My mum n friends said i have grew thinner.wtf. No appetite to eat recently, too many things just happen in a split second..just too many.haiz.

its time to end le..

2007-10-12T00:49:00.000+08:00

gonna update my blog real soon. it has been 2 years since i have updated my blog..wth. Life's changed, social circle changed, personailty changed..basically everything had changed in that past 2 years. Time really fly damn fast, sometimes i felt tat i really cant catched up with it..its is kinda pathetic. Suffered from failures after failures, it seems like life had no aim, no goals...felt so empty suddenly.

Sometimes i asked myself "what have i acheived in life?" It's kinda difficult to think about it becos it seems like i had acheive nothing..fck up life anyway.

its jeff's birthday by the way...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U.although i know u nvr see my blog de.hahaa

2005-11-24T21:55:00.000+08:00

Its a long time since i last blog.haha. Ytd is our graduation day prom. Very unforgetable experience..maybe this is the last time meeting my frens. Brandon, Yong Cheun n Qing Yuan came to my hse in the morning to do their hair. But by the time we reach our destination, we were late..lol, we were suppose to reach there at 1pm but at 1pm..we still playing game at my hse. It is a very rare experience to see that all my frens turned into handsome guys n gals. We took alot of photos but i only got some bck..i will get them bck another day. I will end here le..

2005-11-04T18:07:00.000+08:00

EmM so long nvr blog le. Two more days to my decision day..god damn. Sometimes i will ask myself tis question..how much have u studied??..but my ans will always be negative cos i really slack like fuck, so far only revise maths n s.s ( wtf )..how am i going to take olvls when it is juZ two days away. Ppl ask me " have u prepared?" i duno how to answer them cos i am really PREPARED TO DIE. Being killed in a battlefield because of lack of training cant be tolerated..haiZ. Recently really running out of luck, things happened tat made me pissed off. Think i will stop here le.

2005-10-19T19:45:00.000+08:00

2weeks 2 days more to my olevels ler..haiZ, really scared i fail cos will let my parents dissapointed. Tml my olevels practical test le, got alot things i still dunno..lolS, preparing to fail liaoZ. Today went to sch, HengZ no teacher catch my hair..lolS. After sch went to eat with jeff, c.s, darren n brandon than go play batminton..play until rain sia. Then me n c.s run for the bus stop..damn..when we reach the bus stop, the rain suddenly stop..diaoZ. Nth special happening today..lols. JuZ hope tat everything will be fine tml..everything going smoothly..than i happy liaoS..hahas =). End here le..short hor..hahas =X

2005-10-16T14:36:00.000+08:00

7th post le. Today went to meet maths teacher( Miss Lee ) and some of my frens for remedia at Rivervale mall again. Miss Lee said i do maths very slow sia..jia lat.
I bought FFVII DvD..wahaha. The show damn nice sia, I like ClouD..his hairstyle supeR NICE..i wish i could have his hairstyle. ClouD were also very powerful man but most of all..his NICE hairstyle attract me the most. Comparing to my hairstyle now..haiZ, cos of those F*cking sch rules on hair..i cant keep the hairstyle i wan >.<. One thing i dun understand is y would sch wan to be so strict on hair...we go sch to study only, wat for they care so much..knS. Cutting my hair is like cutting away my confidence."O" levels is really round the corner le..i only done a little of my revision..jia lat sia. Duno y i still so slack..lol, i predict i would did very BADLY for my "o". I hereby wish all my frens who were taking "o" A VERY GD LUCK TO ALL OF U!

2005-10-13T19:18:00.000+08:00

Sixth post le. Today went to cut my hair cos got alot fucking teachers catchT.T, actually i want to keep de but bo bian cos of those FUCKING rules >.< Anyway i went compass.p with jeff...he go see doctor n i go cut hair..lol.
Ytd i celebrated 3 of my frens birthday..alot right? Jeff, Syaza n Liana. I had to make 2 trips, one is to tampines mall and last trip is Rivervale Mall. First trip is to celebrate Jeff's b.d. I went with Joseph n we are the second to arrived. 7 of us ( lazy to mention) ate seoul garden...damn, i eat untill so full.
About 6.55pm..me n joseph went down to rivervale mall to celebrate syaza n liana' b.d. We were the last to arrived sia...pai seh sia. Seems like everybody is waiting for us..lolS. At that time i was so full that i nearly cant finish the cake that they had given me...hahas =X.
I haven been going to sch for three days le cos one of the teacher ( Mr Wu ) wan cut my hair..kns. I rather go kill myself instead of letting him cut. Now i have cut my hair le, i think it is OK to go to sch le.

2005-10-11T16:02:00.000+08:00

Fifth post le..hahas. Monday was a tired day for me because i slp at abt 0430..Sleep about 2 hours have to wake up liao. Today was the start of our new timetable for only sec4 n sec5. I don't like the timetable man because you have to face the teacher u dun like for so many hours..sianZ lol. Recently my parents like facing some financial problems, just found out from my mum that my dad workplace is not earning money. My dad is the only person working n he had to support a family of five, if he is down my whole family will die. Although Singapore economy is boosting but my dad did not benefit from it because my dad is a car mechanic, nowadays is very cheap to get a new car n a new car is likely to have any problems, and if there is any problem... u can send it back to the company for repair. I think this is the main reason n i heard that some of my dad's friends who is also car mechanic is also having the same problem as my dad. Sometimes i really think that our family is running badluck...stupid man..badluck please go AWAY. I think i will end here le. . . . .

2005-10-09T20:03:00.000+08:00

This is my fourth post..haha. Nothing special today...go out with jeff because he wanted to buy clothes for himself n his girlfriend. Sway sia today cos my EZ-LINK card spoil..nearly cant go hm cos we spent all out money..lol, lucky still left some coins which is just enough for standard ticket. Dunno why i so DAMN SWAY this few months, alot unlucky things happened to me..really hope my luck will come bck before "o"levels starts. Die le, 3 weeks++ "o" levels start le n I haven revise..slacking as if holiday liao..jia lat sia. Got too much pullfactors le! Today saw alot of clothes I like de..feel like buying but no money..lol, hope can buy them soon. Guess i will end here le.

A bitterSweet life ( 4 out of 5 stars)

2005-10-08T16:41:00.000+08:00

Have u all watch the movie " A bittersweet life "...i guess not cos it is M18 hahas, but i got the pirated DVD...wahaha=X. The main character is SUNWOO who struggle between the underworld. His boss want to kill him juZ because he made a small mistake. This movie is nice because it is damn violent (M18 mah)=X. Very realistic cos it shows the brutallity. I like the way SUNWOO fights, his kicks n punches n the way he kill ppl was very CooL..lol. In the movie, he kills all his enemies who humiliate him but at last he died (sad case). If i could kill all my enemies like he does...wahaha, i am sure to be happy even if i die. "U could do 100 things right, but juZ 1 mistake could kill u" n " There's no turning bck, u have to accept it"...tat is wat i learn frm tis NiCE moViE..lol. Guess I end here le =). ( 4 out of 5 stars) my rating.
MY MESSAGE : Dun always think that u can run away after u offented people, revenge will always hunt u till u DIE ! ( edited 11th oct 05 )

2005-10-08T04:30:00.000+08:00

Wah tis is my second time blogging. YunZhen my ex sch mate oso help me alot in my blog..thanks to amirul n yunzhen. Today nvr go sch cos very tired..lol=X. Cos go sch oso do wrksheet only mah..hahas. Today joseph come my hse play..awhile only. Tml me n qing yuan going to meet miss lee (our maths teacher) for remedia at rivervale mall. Olevels left 4 more weeks le..i think i have to buck up le. Actually dun wan to take my "o" de cos i have no course i like in poly n i tired of those STUPID sch rules, i only wan to learn hairstyling..lol....but my mum force me to take "o" so bo bian lo. I ending here le..maybe update ltr..haha.=)

2005-10-07T14:10:00.000+08:00

Tis is my first time trying to blog..lol. Really spend alot time editing it n forget to revise..jia lat. Thanks to amirul, he help me alot on my blog =X...first time mah..bo bian..hahas. I knw my blog is really simple but i will try my best to modify it..lol. 4more weeks to my olevel le but i am still SLACKING sia..shit man, not tat i dun wan to revise..is everytime like got alot distractions. Hope i can get motivation..lol. Nth special abt today, same old routine tat i had folllowed so many years..sianZ. Can see all my classmates stress but i like no stress like tat sia =X. I think i wil end here le cos my mum scold le..use too much computer..haha.