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Copyrighted 2007
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All Rights Reserved © Original
100% Copyrighted 2007 '
[x] Stories begin from here, Spinnie.Blogspot.Com :D
[x] Tag before you leave.
[x] Give your basic respect to MY BLOG.
[x] Please DO NOT SPAM, thank you.
[x] You can click the red button on the top right hand corner IF you arent happy.
[x] Read and enjoy.
[x] Do come back again :)
[x] Thanks ^^
>
All Rights Reserved © Original
100% Copyrighted 2007 '
N Friday, November 30, 2007 / 2:11 AM
我们说好就算分开一样做朋友..felt like you dont even treat me as a friend.
Avoiding is what you are doing now.
现实说过有爱还不够
Avoiding is what you are doing now.
现实说过有爱还不够
; So Emo
N Wednesday, November 28, 2007 / 1:03 AM
The care and concerned i am craving from you is gone for now. I really dont want those memories we built to be torn down like that..i really dont want this to happen to us.
I DONT WANT!!
I DONT WANT!!
; So Emo
N Tuesday, November 27, 2007 / 11:31 PM
Life seems so meaningless. The one i cared alot had rejected all my concerns. She dont need this loser to care anymore. She had found another guy willing to shower love on her.
The colours i used to have, had already faded away. My world is black and white now.
Whenever i walk pass the place we used to sit, i will slow down my footsteps and stare at the place. Happy memories we had there, those laughters, hugs and kisses appeared everytime i walk pass.
Got beaten up by 8 to 10 guys at ps yesterday.. most of them aim for my head n back.
Felt quite nice for some reason. Is like those pain i had kept in my heart had been let out for that few minutes.
Had some bad injuries and need to go for XRAY, but nevermind. I like it..i love the pain i had now.
The colours i used to have, had already faded away. My world is black and white now.
Whenever i walk pass the place we used to sit, i will slow down my footsteps and stare at the place. Happy memories we had there, those laughters, hugs and kisses appeared everytime i walk pass.
Got beaten up by 8 to 10 guys at ps yesterday.. most of them aim for my head n back.
Felt quite nice for some reason. Is like those pain i had kept in my heart had been let out for that few minutes.
Had some bad injuries and need to go for XRAY, but nevermind. I like it..i love the pain i had now.
; So Emo
N Sunday, November 25, 2007 / 1:29 PM
19days left
We are lost in a maze, I remembered i told you that no matter what happens..we will find our way out. But in the end i am the only one left lost and helpless in that maze.
Truth are out. The thing i fear from the begining had already come true. So true that i cant even accept it and face myself again. I am nothing but a shadow to you now. It hurts me so much..so deep.
Numbered days are finally my hell days. Thought those days will be happy for me but i was wrong. You said before that you want to spend more time with me before my enlistment but i think you will not do that now. You have another guy to be with now...
Smashed hopes. Its better for me to stay in the dark..
Problems after problems. I cant take it, i really cant. I think there wont be so much problem if i dont exist in you and my friend's social circle. Perhaps i should go to a far away place without troubles and problems. Maybe everything will return back to the same if i go and there's no need for me to think that much too.
If i really go..hope all of you all take care, espacially you. Dont smoke that much and remember to take regular meals. Listen to your parents more. Do well in your studies. Wish that "mao mao lian" will always remain between you and me, our memories.... Thank god for letting her found a much more better guy than me. I wont obstruct you anymore. I will face the consequence myself for letting you go..
The last words i want to say is : I loved you from the beginning until now..believe it or not..is up to you le.
We are lost in a maze, I remembered i told you that no matter what happens..we will find our way out. But in the end i am the only one left lost and helpless in that maze.
Truth are out. The thing i fear from the begining had already come true. So true that i cant even accept it and face myself again. I am nothing but a shadow to you now. It hurts me so much..so deep.
Numbered days are finally my hell days. Thought those days will be happy for me but i was wrong. You said before that you want to spend more time with me before my enlistment but i think you will not do that now. You have another guy to be with now...
Smashed hopes. Its better for me to stay in the dark..
Problems after problems. I cant take it, i really cant. I think there wont be so much problem if i dont exist in you and my friend's social circle. Perhaps i should go to a far away place without troubles and problems. Maybe everything will return back to the same if i go and there's no need for me to think that much too.
If i really go..hope all of you all take care, espacially you. Dont smoke that much and remember to take regular meals. Listen to your parents more. Do well in your studies. Wish that "mao mao lian" will always remain between you and me, our memories.... Thank god for letting her found a much more better guy than me. I wont obstruct you anymore. I will face the consequence myself for letting you go..
The last words i want to say is : I loved you from the beginning until now..believe it or not..is up to you le.
; So Emo
N Saturday, November 24, 2007 / 2:45 AM
Took picture with 77th street founder on Thursday.Chest hurts sometimes...but its ok, i like it. The more it hurts, the more i love it.
Forgotten about my status now. Cared too much, asked too much. Sometimes i just cant help it. My heart still hurts everyday for some reasons. Every minute every seconds you dripped away like water. Your presense and hope is getting weaker, maybe is a good news for you but is a bad news for me.
Every bit of hope i tried my best to grab but i'm loosing every bit i grabbed.
Have been forgotten faster than i have expected..WHY. Our memories are really as fragile as glass?that can be shatter into pieces at anytime?
Have been forgotten faster than i have expected..WHY. Our memories are really as fragile as glass?that can be shatter into pieces at anytime?
I remembered i have said " as long as we loved each other, no matter how much pain and barrier we faced..we will conquer it" it seems so empty now.
难道我没有权利说我不愿意.
Reality had force me to the peak of breaking down..speechless yet helpless.
~Surprised to know what i have yet to know~
; So Emo
N Friday, November 23, 2007 / 12:39 AM
Everything that happened now is all my fault...ALL MY FCKING FAULT.
i cant bear it anymore..
You dont even seems to care about me now and i am loosing you bit by bit everyday..WHY WHY..I DONT WAN THIS TO HAPPEN, but WTF can i do...nothing just NOTHING.
i am just....
Weird to see what i have saw today.
Sorry to let you see me like that today. Just suddenly felt unwell and kept trembling..didnt mean to scare you. but i know you wont care also.
i cant bear it anymore..
You dont even seems to care about me now and i am loosing you bit by bit everyday..WHY WHY..I DONT WAN THIS TO HAPPEN, but WTF can i do...nothing just NOTHING.
i am just....
Weird to see what i have saw today.
Sorry to let you see me like that today. Just suddenly felt unwell and kept trembling..didnt mean to scare you. but i know you wont care also.
; So Emo
N Monday, November 19, 2007 / 3:05 PM
给了你祝福又盼望你回心转意
有种矛盾的情绪
他给的幸福你从笑容就能说明
我还凭什么关心 怎么你不抗拒
我猜是我的错 爱怎么被偷走
你的手那么冷, 总会有人..抢著为你加温
有种矛盾的情绪
他给的幸福你从笑容就能说明
我还凭什么关心 怎么你不抗拒
我猜是我的错 爱怎么被偷走
你的手那么冷, 总会有人..抢著为你加温
; So Emo
N / 2:15 AM
Now everything is all about him. Forgotten, and left behind..in your heart, i am nothing now. Maybe i'm just a piece of junk or shit to you now.
Miserable truth that i have no courage to accept.
Felt so mentally disabled.
I cant see what is in front of me.
I really hate myself..why am i always so useless..WHY. I hate god, hate you for torturing me.
No more strength..No more energy
To face the cruel fate that i am experiencing
Torn up and shattered into so many pieces that cant even be salvage.
No more reason left behind to let you stay.
No compassion, no kindess from you.
Forced to welcome the fate of our destiny.
Helpless, i'm so useless.
Miserable truth that i have no courage to accept.
Felt so mentally disabled.
I cant see what is in front of me.
I really hate myself..why am i always so useless..WHY. I hate god, hate you for torturing me.
No more strength..No more energy
To face the cruel fate that i am experiencing
Torn up and shattered into so many pieces that cant even be salvage.
No more reason left behind to let you stay.
No compassion, no kindess from you.
Forced to welcome the fate of our destiny.
Helpless, i'm so useless.
; So Emo
N Saturday, November 17, 2007 / 4:02 AM
Trying so hard to act happy in front of you all.haiz.just...just...never mind.
Thers's really nothing i can do..nothing.
Browsed through those gifts and letters had worsen my mood.just cant help it.
Felt so cold while chatting with you, so different from the past. Sometimes I hope that i wont wake up after i fall asleep. I cant accept it, i really cant. Enduring the pain that i had never ever been through in my life. Fell so deep, cant even climb up now.
Thers's really nothing i can do..nothing.
Browsed through those gifts and letters had worsen my mood.just cant help it.
Felt so cold while chatting with you, so different from the past. Sometimes I hope that i wont wake up after i fall asleep. I cant accept it, i really cant. Enduring the pain that i had never ever been through in my life. Fell so deep, cant even climb up now.
; So Emo
N Friday, November 16, 2007 / 8:01 PM
Its really torturing mentally..how long can i fcking endure. Why things have to end this way? I just cant stop thinking...
; So Emo
N / 11:05 AM
你要离开我知道很简单.
原来只要几个人改变了角色和位子, 自从他出现开始我就什么都不是. 所以你说我们不是你和我, 但你却没有真的心疼我.
在挣扎你说过的话. 牵着你陪着我也只是曾经.
我根本不想分开为什么还要我用微笑来带过.
不用担心的太多, 我会慢慢走开.
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份.
我会一个人走,带走寂寞, 希望你好好过.
hate myself. hate myself for being such a loser, such a failure.
Fck me..fck up life.
saw blood on my tissue paper.
Bad headache~
原来只要几个人改变了角色和位子, 自从他出现开始我就什么都不是. 所以你说我们不是你和我, 但你却没有真的心疼我.
在挣扎你说过的话. 牵着你陪着我也只是曾经.
我根本不想分开为什么还要我用微笑来带过.
不用担心的太多, 我会慢慢走开.
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份.
我会一个人走,带走寂寞, 希望你好好过.
hate myself. hate myself for being such a loser, such a failure.
Fck me..fck up life.
saw blood on my tissue paper.
Bad headache~
; So Emo
N / 2:25 AM
28days left, days that i am going to experience in hell.
Friends become couple, and turn back into friends status. She just said "its over", yet i cant do anything..anything. I have lots of words in my heart to express out to you, but i guess..i rather keep it in my heart. From today onwards, my status had officially been changed.
I am really very sorry for making you sad all this while, i didn't mean to. So many words left unsaid, so many things left undone. Hopes turn to disappointments. Seems like acting in a drama. I am only the one who knows my story best, i am the one who knows how i am feeling now.
Always bluffing people that i am fine, ask them not to worry. None of my friends know what happened, i had my personal reason. The only option left is the blog my heart out. Have to take all the pain myself now. Have been smoking heavily since that incident..guess i wont be able to cut down now. I am going to thank god and Fck u god for giving me such a great joke..please continue to joke my life till death.
He's a good guy i supposed..replacing the place i occupied all this while. The thing i fear most had really come true. Hope he really can take care of you ba.. Finally understand why she refused to allow me to visit her at work..haiz.
Just cried.. punched the wall and i can see black n blue now.
" I will never stop loving you" i still remembered the sms i received. "Happy to see you everyday" is what you used to told me in the past. Those words seems to have lost its meaning now.
My doubts is cleared now. The karma of pain and consequences is what i am going to face now.
Killed in the darkness finally. No hopes, numbed.
Friends become couple, and turn back into friends status. She just said "its over", yet i cant do anything..anything. I have lots of words in my heart to express out to you, but i guess..i rather keep it in my heart. From today onwards, my status had officially been changed.
I am really very sorry for making you sad all this while, i didn't mean to. So many words left unsaid, so many things left undone. Hopes turn to disappointments. Seems like acting in a drama. I am only the one who knows my story best, i am the one who knows how i am feeling now.
Always bluffing people that i am fine, ask them not to worry. None of my friends know what happened, i had my personal reason. The only option left is the blog my heart out. Have to take all the pain myself now. Have been smoking heavily since that incident..guess i wont be able to cut down now. I am going to thank god and Fck u god for giving me such a great joke..please continue to joke my life till death.
He's a good guy i supposed..replacing the place i occupied all this while. The thing i fear most had really come true. Hope he really can take care of you ba.. Finally understand why she refused to allow me to visit her at work..haiz.
Just cried.. punched the wall and i can see black n blue now.
" I will never stop loving you" i still remembered the sms i received. "Happy to see you everyday" is what you used to told me in the past. Those words seems to have lost its meaning now.
My doubts is cleared now. The karma of pain and consequences is what i am going to face now.
Killed in the darkness finally. No hopes, numbed.
; So Emo
N Tuesday, November 13, 2007 / 2:08 AM
Everything had changed. Changed after that incident.
Perhaps you heart towards me is dead already..
I had become a stranger to you in that second. 你口中说出再见坚决如铁.
Death sentence had already been made.
No more courage to face myself, no more courage to stand up again.
Smoke myself throughout the night seems to be my everyday life.
Gone! gone in that second.
Masked myself in front of my friends and family..is the only thing i could do now.
Have you found your new happiness to persuit?
If you have, just let me know. I really want to know, to prepare myself, to clear my doubts.
You said we are friends now. But i felt that my status to you is worse than a friend.
31 days left for me. Torturing and painful days I need to go through. Who will understand how i feel? I had nobody to seek help. Its driving me crazy. God loves to play trick on me, WHY?
Mirror reflects my sorrows.
Mirror reflects my pain.
The person i see in the mirror is no longer me.
A person with no courage, no soul, no happiness is what i see everytime i looked into the mirror.
还在寻找曾经每次你对我的好
还在祈祷最爱的你回到我怀抱
你不知道我有多难熬
Perhaps you heart towards me is dead already..
I had become a stranger to you in that second. 你口中说出再见坚决如铁.
Death sentence had already been made.
No more courage to face myself, no more courage to stand up again.
Smoke myself throughout the night seems to be my everyday life.
Gone! gone in that second.
Masked myself in front of my friends and family..is the only thing i could do now.
Have you found your new happiness to persuit?
If you have, just let me know. I really want to know, to prepare myself, to clear my doubts.
You said we are friends now. But i felt that my status to you is worse than a friend.
31 days left for me. Torturing and painful days I need to go through. Who will understand how i feel? I had nobody to seek help. Its driving me crazy. God loves to play trick on me, WHY?
Mirror reflects my sorrows.
Mirror reflects my pain.
The person i see in the mirror is no longer me.
A person with no courage, no soul, no happiness is what i see everytime i looked into the mirror.
还在寻找曾经每次你对我的好
还在祈祷最爱的你回到我怀抱
你不知道我有多难熬
; So Emo
N Sunday, November 11, 2007 / 4:34 AM
Its ok to feel pain. It's all my fault, all my mistake. What is there to moan about?
If you don't want to be hurt again, I will carry the burden for you.
Regrets after regrets. Problems after problems. Pain after pain. I cant even regonised myself now.
Maybe this is my karma, or god love to play tricks on me. Play more tricks..i love it. Ply untill i kill myself better.
"Care" what is care? I don't know it now. The word "care" seems to loose it's meaning in my heart.
If you don't want to be hurt again, I will carry the burden for you.
Regrets after regrets. Problems after problems. Pain after pain. I cant even regonised myself now.
Maybe this is my karma, or god love to play tricks on me. Play more tricks..i love it. Ply untill i kill myself better.
"Care" what is care? I don't know it now. The word "care" seems to loose it's meaning in my heart.
; So Emo
N / 3:02 AM
Time is getting shorter each day. My heart is getting heavier and heavier and i cant take it anymore.
Everybody is treating so cold..i am failing myself.
Everyday is a torture..
How am i going to do to accept the fact?
I know nobody cares for me now..ya i fcking like it.
Just let me die..
I am worth nothing now...
Everybody is treating so cold..i am failing myself.
Everyday is a torture..
How am i going to do to accept the fact?
I know nobody cares for me now..ya i fcking like it.
Just let me die..
I am worth nothing now...
; So Emo
N Friday, November 09, 2007 / 1:56 AM
Ya, a bastard. Trying to act,be a flirt and play people's feelings, her friend just scold me...
You all really think i want? Do you all know my story?
Yeah, maybe you all are right. I am nothing better than shit. Shit me forever.
No matter how much i explain myself, i am eyed as a bad guy. So go ahead and curse me and scold me.
Everything just end with one mistake..ya i know its my fault. With that one mistake, people give me a death sentence..even you.
Good! how i wish i could die now.
She said "I guess its finally over". What can i do? 走到感情关键时候却握不住你的手, 还能有什么藉口让爱再回头.
You all really think i want? Do you all know my story?
Yeah, maybe you all are right. I am nothing better than shit. Shit me forever.
No matter how much i explain myself, i am eyed as a bad guy. So go ahead and curse me and scold me.
Everything just end with one mistake..ya i know its my fault. With that one mistake, people give me a death sentence..even you.
Good! how i wish i could die now.
She said "I guess its finally over". What can i do? 走到感情关键时候却握不住你的手, 还能有什么藉口让爱再回头.
; So Emo
N Tuesday, November 06, 2007 / 6:12 PM
Everything that happens, it's my fault.
I cause harm, pain.
I am monster.
I cause harm, pain.
I am monster.
; So Emo