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Copyrighted 2007
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All Rights Reserved © Original
100% Copyrighted 2007 '
[x] Stories begin from here, Spinnie.Blogspot.Com :D
[x] Tag before you leave.
[x] Give your basic respect to MY BLOG.
[x] Please DO NOT SPAM, thank you.
[x] You can click the red button on the top right hand corner IF you arent happy.
[x] Read and enjoy.
[x] Do come back again :)
[x] Thanks ^^
>
All Rights Reserved © Original
100% Copyrighted 2007 '
N Saturday, October 27, 2007 / 8:56 AM
48 days left.
I'm tired, worn out but just couldn't get to sleep.
One pack of smokes is my everyday life now.
Just couldn't stop thinking...
Hate myself.
Blogging my fck-up life. So fck-up that i cant face it anymore.
Everything is so fck-up.
Thanks Liang for slacking with me.
I'm tired, worn out but just couldn't get to sleep.
One pack of smokes is my everyday life now.
Just couldn't stop thinking...
Hate myself.
Blogging my fck-up life. So fck-up that i cant face it anymore.
Everything is so fck-up.
Thanks Liang for slacking with me.
; So Emo
N Thursday, October 25, 2007 / 11:02 PM
I am no longer myself from today onwards. Dead~
我的不安
那么沉重
只有你不懂
我的不安
那么沉重
只有你不懂
; So Emo
N / 8:39 PM
Its getting heavier everyday. I cant carry it anymore..i just cant.
I see no light, i see no hope..all I see is pain. I am enduring but it is weakening me as well. Perhaps its time for me to do something..soon.
I am just a nobody now.
我受了重伤己不再对爱渴望
握紧的手始终要放
留得住的只是荒壤.
I see no light, i see no hope..all I see is pain. I am enduring but it is weakening me as well. Perhaps its time for me to do something..soon.
I am just a nobody now.
我受了重伤己不再对爱渴望
握紧的手始终要放
留得住的只是荒壤.
; So Emo
N / 9:22 AM
51 days left.
Things seems to get worsen each day. Things just happened too fast. I have lost my grip, lost my feelings, lost my opportunity and I am loosing you soon. The only thing I can do is to numb myself with smokes everyday.
Felt that something is blocking me, pushing me away from you. There's a wall..a thick wall and I cant get throught it.
Things have changed..and maybe this is my fate. A loser like me knows NOTHING. A failure like me WILL CONTINUE TO FAIL THROUGHTOUT MY ENTIRE LIFE. A retard like me will ALWAYS REMAIN AS A RETARD. I will get use to this kind of fck-up life.
I dont need symphathise, I dont need care and concern, I dont deserve anything.
Too much countless shadow in my heart..so dark. I need no light and I need no help. Just leave me to die..no more courage and confidence to face myself again.
It is always things that happened that change people, but can people change things from happening?
Happiness will always be forgotten
brain dead~
Things seems to get worsen each day. Things just happened too fast. I have lost my grip, lost my feelings, lost my opportunity and I am loosing you soon. The only thing I can do is to numb myself with smokes everyday.
Felt that something is blocking me, pushing me away from you. There's a wall..a thick wall and I cant get throught it.
Things have changed..and maybe this is my fate. A loser like me knows NOTHING. A failure like me WILL CONTINUE TO FAIL THROUGHTOUT MY ENTIRE LIFE. A retard like me will ALWAYS REMAIN AS A RETARD. I will get use to this kind of fck-up life.
I dont need symphathise, I dont need care and concern, I dont deserve anything.
Too much countless shadow in my heart..so dark. I need no light and I need no help. Just leave me to die..no more courage and confidence to face myself again.
It is always things that happened that change people, but can people change things from happening?
Happiness will always be forgotten
brain dead~
; So Emo
N Tuesday, October 23, 2007 / 7:36 PM
Hate me for all you like.
; So Emo
N / 2:13 AM
Sunday
Went to make my specs for army at Simei. Dad bought me a pair of shoes too. Thanks dad for treating me so good. Went back to compass point to meet yoshi. He came to my house, slack and sleep.
Monday
Sent yoshi back to his apartment with my bike. Went home got headache then sleep till 9plus. Went to compass point meet gan ma..talk awhile. Then ride home in the rain..feel so good. Felt like my troubles are washed away by the rain.
Went to make my specs for army at Simei. Dad bought me a pair of shoes too. Thanks dad for treating me so good. Went back to compass point to meet yoshi. He came to my house, slack and sleep.
Monday
Sent yoshi back to his apartment with my bike. Went home got headache then sleep till 9plus. Went to compass point meet gan ma..talk awhile. Then ride home in the rain..feel so good. Felt like my troubles are washed away by the rain.
一个人在这个夜里
孤单得难以入睡
真的想找个人来陪
不愿意一个人喝醉
醉了以后就会流泪
数着你给的伤悲
为什么你总让我憔悴
别说我的眼泪你无所谓
看我流泪你头也不回
哭过了泪干了心变成灰
我想要的美你还不想给
伤了的我的心怎去面对
爱给了你我不后悔只
希望你给我一次机会
让我去追让我去飞毕
竟爱过的心需要安慰需要你安慰
Some words are fated to stay in my heart which include......................
I dont need people to sympathise me also
; So Emo
N Sunday, October 21, 2007 / 6:27 AM
Saturday was quite a day for me.
My school friend Liang came to let me style his hair.haha and i drove his car again =X.
Went for a movie with my friends after that at PS.
Came back to CP to slack awhile, then go jeff's house with kai quan n yoshi till 2am.
I was waiting for Liang to come to his house..he came at 2am.
Then me, Liang, yoshi and kai quan went for supper at Jalan Kayu..Liang drove us there.haha.
After sending both of them home, we went to slack near my house till 5.30am.
The look in your eyes is different. It seems that something in fading inside your heart..fading fast and I cant do a damn thing about it..loser me.
Did I gave myself too much false hope?
少给我一点希望
希望就不是奢望
My school friend Liang came to let me style his hair.haha and i drove his car again =X.
Went for a movie with my friends after that at PS.
Came back to CP to slack awhile, then go jeff's house with kai quan n yoshi till 2am.
I was waiting for Liang to come to his house..he came at 2am.
Then me, Liang, yoshi and kai quan went for supper at Jalan Kayu..Liang drove us there.haha.
After sending both of them home, we went to slack near my house till 5.30am.
The look in your eyes is different. It seems that something in fading inside your heart..fading fast and I cant do a damn thing about it..loser me.
Did I gave myself too much false hope?
少给我一点希望
希望就不是奢望
; So Emo
N Saturday, October 20, 2007 / 4:46 AM
我以为你会快乐
当我的拥抱抱不住你的苦
谁会相信我要比你更加无助
当我的拥抱抱不住你的苦
谁会相信我要比你更加无助
; So Emo
N Friday, October 19, 2007 / 6:38 AM
I blame myself everyday.
Blame myself for being so stupid
Blame myself for being such an asshole
Blame myself for being a failure
I brought pain to people
I brought pain to you.
Its all my fault, what have I turn u into?
I am just a monster, nothing but a monster.
Just hate me, hate me for everything i did. JUST HATE ME !
I am sorry.
Blame myself for being so stupid
Blame myself for being such an asshole
Blame myself for being a failure
I brought pain to people
I brought pain to you.
Its all my fault, what have I turn u into?
I am just a monster, nothing but a monster.
Just hate me, hate me for everything i did. JUST HATE ME !
I am sorry.
55days left. 2packs of smoke. Cant get to sleep.
; So Emo
N Thursday, October 18, 2007 / 5:44 AM
幸福在日子里一天天的累积尘垢
终于要忍受
看 你空着的手
在回家的路上竟一先一后
是不是从前的点滴温柔
逐渐溜走
变成了伤口
是为甚么到今天才发现两个人有那么多的要求
是不是不管我对你多好
吻你多久
也不能回头
你一个人无言泪流
是否为了失去自由
虽然睡在左右
也只是熟悉的朋友
56 days left. One pack of smoke again..Cant sleep again.
Would everything be back to the same again after this week? I cant accept it.
流光了泪水也不能回到那好时候
是否再握紧你手也失去温柔
谁在最需要的时候轻轻拍着我肩膀
我不问你又何必掩饰
你过的好辛苦 我比谁都清楚
一开始就给的糊里糊涂
想回头却又不知如何结束
你装作很满足 我比谁都清楚
快乐背后深深藏着痛楚
坚强的面对然后偷偷的哭
终于要忍受
看 你空着的手
在回家的路上竟一先一后
是不是从前的点滴温柔
逐渐溜走
变成了伤口
是为甚么到今天才发现两个人有那么多的要求
是不是不管我对你多好
吻你多久
也不能回头
你一个人无言泪流
是否为了失去自由
虽然睡在左右
也只是熟悉的朋友
56 days left. One pack of smoke again..Cant sleep again.
Would everything be back to the same again after this week? I cant accept it.
流光了泪水也不能回到那好时候
是否再握紧你手也失去温柔
谁在最需要的时候轻轻拍着我肩膀
我不问你又何必掩饰
你过的好辛苦 我比谁都清楚
一开始就给的糊里糊涂
想回头却又不知如何结束
你装作很满足 我比谁都清楚
快乐背后深深藏着痛楚
坚强的面对然后偷偷的哭
; So Emo
N Wednesday, October 17, 2007 / 6:30 AM
57 days left.
Limited time to do a bundle of things.
Everyday, every hour, every minute, every seconds seems to be precious from now. Have i been wasting my time in the past? Should i used my confused heart to do my things and face my problems?
Sleepless nights, countless cigarettes is my everyday life. Thinking of problems i am facing and problems I am going to face. It seems that there is no end to it. Stucked in the shadow, getting tired of life. Great pains with slient crys. No hope and no goals. Caged in hell with unexplainable sufferings. Is life really as positive as it seems?
I have made people suffer and i am really sorry for that.
Happy moments are like a dream, shattered when you open your eyes. So afraid to fall asleep, so afraid to close my eyes, so afraid to face the pain again when i open my eyes.
I miss your sweetness, I missed your love.
I love the way you look into my eyes, I love the way you smile.
You brought me light with your heart, giving me directions, giving me strength.
But
Things have changed when you walked away.
I didn't blame you and I didn't hate you. You have got your own reasons too.
Lost without you but memories will always stay.
How am I going to be strong again without you.
Trying my best to find my way out, find my way out of the maze.
So difficult, so complicated.
So lost, So tired.
emm, think i should end here ba. What a freak i am now. Don't know what i am thinking and typing also.
Limited time to do a bundle of things.
Everyday, every hour, every minute, every seconds seems to be precious from now. Have i been wasting my time in the past? Should i used my confused heart to do my things and face my problems?
Sleepless nights, countless cigarettes is my everyday life. Thinking of problems i am facing and problems I am going to face. It seems that there is no end to it. Stucked in the shadow, getting tired of life. Great pains with slient crys. No hope and no goals. Caged in hell with unexplainable sufferings. Is life really as positive as it seems?
I have made people suffer and i am really sorry for that.
Happy moments are like a dream, shattered when you open your eyes. So afraid to fall asleep, so afraid to close my eyes, so afraid to face the pain again when i open my eyes.
I miss your sweetness, I missed your love.
I love the way you look into my eyes, I love the way you smile.
You brought me light with your heart, giving me directions, giving me strength.
But
Things have changed when you walked away.
I didn't blame you and I didn't hate you. You have got your own reasons too.
Lost without you but memories will always stay.
How am I going to be strong again without you.
Trying my best to find my way out, find my way out of the maze.
So difficult, so complicated.
So lost, So tired.
emm, think i should end here ba. What a freak i am now. Don't know what i am thinking and typing also.
; So Emo
N Tuesday, October 16, 2007 / 3:23 AM
Today wasn't a great day for me either. Received my enlistment letter. Was quite shock after seeing the letter..going for army at 14th december which means that i had only one month plus left before going army.
Suddenly felt that i had not much time left. So many things left undone, the things i want to do and fulfill before my enlistment date.
Things may just change, lifestyle, looks, family, friends, thinking perception, you.
Some words i just couldn't speak...
Haiz regrets after regrets..i couldn't face it anymore.
Smoke quite alot today too.
Time is running out.
Suddenly felt that i had not much time left. So many things left undone, the things i want to do and fulfill before my enlistment date.
Things may just change, lifestyle, looks, family, friends, thinking perception, you.
Some words i just couldn't speak...
Haiz regrets after regrets..i couldn't face it anymore.
Smoke quite alot today too.
Time is running out.
; So Emo
N Monday, October 15, 2007 / 6:46 AM
Chatted with my school friend ah liang till 6.30am. He advise me about somethings. Thanks Liang.
Things just happened that cannot be undone again even if i really hope it can be.
Sometimes i really wish i could turn back time, amend all the mistakes i have made.
Missing a person is a kind of sickness isn't it? can it be cured?
My heart is already confused, i don't even know what is right or wrong sometimes..i'm just tooo............
cant even slp now =(
才知道有些感受, 除了我自己没人懂.
要放开哪有那么简单
一个忍受寂寞的人
难道这就是所谓的缘分
Things just happened that cannot be undone again even if i really hope it can be.
Sometimes i really wish i could turn back time, amend all the mistakes i have made.
Missing a person is a kind of sickness isn't it? can it be cured?
My heart is already confused, i don't even know what is right or wrong sometimes..i'm just tooo............
cant even slp now =(
才知道有些感受, 除了我自己没人懂.
要放开哪有那么简单
一个忍受寂寞的人
难道这就是所谓的缘分
; So Emo
N / 12:29 AM
Decision had already been made, what can i do?
; So Emo
N Sunday, October 14, 2007 / 10:31 PM
Just recover from my sickness. Felt much better physically le, but dont know why still felt stress mentally.
Meet xiu ling(gan ma) and jeff for dinner at MOS burger. Than crap here crap there.haha. After that went to get my contact lens..no money le.sian. Smoke quite alot today too untill gan ma stop me.haha.
Me and jeff went to get strap for our psp too, same design.haha.
Fck-up life
Forgotten one..
Meet xiu ling(gan ma) and jeff for dinner at MOS burger. Than crap here crap there.haha. After that went to get my contact lens..no money le.sian. Smoke quite alot today too untill gan ma stop me.haha.
Me and jeff went to get strap for our psp too, same design.haha.
Fck-up life
Forgotten one..
; So Emo
N / 1:14 AM
Cant get to slp. I just could not stop thinking. Things just change in a split second. Felt cold, felt weird, felt left out.
haiz should stop here le
haiz should stop here le
; So Emo
N Saturday, October 13, 2007 / 9:07 PM
Have been staying at home the whole day. Ate my medicine. Thinking about stuffs.
Nothing special today. Haven touch any cigs today..cos haven go buy yet.
haiz..
Nothing special today. Haven touch any cigs today..cos haven go buy yet.
haiz..
; So Emo
N / 3:39 PM
Life isnt going the way i wanted to be. Everything seems so wrong. Happy moments are always short term which i think is quite true. Maybe i am just a fool anyway..a fool in everything i did.
People said, when a chance or opportunity comes..we must grab it. I felt that no matter how tightly i grabbed it, i will always let it slipped away. Y does this kinda things happened to me everytime? Is life so complicated as it seems? What can i do to make life simple?
Whats the point of wanting the things u cant even get it, fight so hard for it, use up all your energy for it, give up everything for it but in the end, you realise you gain nothing. At that point of time, you will feel very stupid and useless.
I love the way u held my hands, the way u hugged me, happy moments we spent together, the way you cared for me..all these things is going to end but i just cant accept it as the truth. I dont want it to end, i dont want it to turn into memories. I know you are giving up soon, can felt it already..everything i do now seems so useless..maybe i am just a loser afterall.
Sometimes i will stare into blank space thinking of things that cannot be altered, thinking about the past, thinking about my future, thinking of you too. What can i do to overcome the sadness i felt, overcome pain i had in the past, overcome the shadow in my heart?
Disappointment flood my heart, waiting becomes the only option i can do..waiting aimlessly..waiting for an answer maybe..this may never come to an end. The answer maybe out, or am i too stupid to realise that? I am loosing aim..loosing everything that i wanted..loosing my pride, confidence, principles of life, loosing you.
The strong light in my heart now is fading away, fading fast and i am losing my way, i didnt know which path i should choose or take, being blind by darkness, maybe it is fate for me to end myself in the dark.
Hate myself anyway, everybody should hate me too.
People said, when a chance or opportunity comes..we must grab it. I felt that no matter how tightly i grabbed it, i will always let it slipped away. Y does this kinda things happened to me everytime? Is life so complicated as it seems? What can i do to make life simple?
Whats the point of wanting the things u cant even get it, fight so hard for it, use up all your energy for it, give up everything for it but in the end, you realise you gain nothing. At that point of time, you will feel very stupid and useless.
I love the way u held my hands, the way u hugged me, happy moments we spent together, the way you cared for me..all these things is going to end but i just cant accept it as the truth. I dont want it to end, i dont want it to turn into memories. I know you are giving up soon, can felt it already..everything i do now seems so useless..maybe i am just a loser afterall.
Sometimes i will stare into blank space thinking of things that cannot be altered, thinking about the past, thinking about my future, thinking of you too. What can i do to overcome the sadness i felt, overcome pain i had in the past, overcome the shadow in my heart?
Disappointment flood my heart, waiting becomes the only option i can do..waiting aimlessly..waiting for an answer maybe..this may never come to an end. The answer maybe out, or am i too stupid to realise that? I am loosing aim..loosing everything that i wanted..loosing my pride, confidence, principles of life, loosing you.
The strong light in my heart now is fading away, fading fast and i am losing my way, i didnt know which path i should choose or take, being blind by darkness, maybe it is fate for me to end myself in the dark.
Hate myself anyway, everybody should hate me too.
; So Emo
N / 12:12 PM
Took some pics on jeff's birthday, i post 3 only.haha. Quite a fun day actually. Had my injection before i went out, if not i am going to look like freak.
Hope jeff enjoyed his day also.
Hope jeff enjoyed his day also.
; So Emo
N Friday, October 12, 2007 / 7:06 AM
my skin condition is getting worse..cant even get to sleep.damn.
dont know whether i am able to celebrate jeff's birthday anot..89% no ba.
just feel like dying now >.<
dont know whether i am able to celebrate jeff's birthday anot..89% no ba.
just feel like dying now >.<
; So Emo
N / 1:16 AM
Since i am so damn bored..i will write a new post.haha.
Forgotten about my exam date, suppose to have exam today but i thought my exam was on friday..damn.stm
Do i still have the confidence to face problems in my life again?emm i think no ba..i am like running away from problems instead of facing them. Just had this shadow in my heart which i really cant and dont know how to overcome it. What happens to u psyhologically when all ur loves ones decide to leave u? can u really take the impact? if u can withstand the impact, will there be no damage?
What is the biggest mistake that u have ever made in life? For me, i think is alot ba..
Sometimes i will question myself "will god really be there when u really need them?" For me i think is no ba, always felt that god is playing on me, playing jokes on me..fck up life.
I am sorry i cant be there for u when u need me the most. Sorry to make u so fck up. Sorry for eveything.
Have been hooked up with smoking for one year plus le, how stupid i am to start smoking. Whenever i felt stress i will think of smoke, maybe this is the reson why i cant quit ba.
My mum n friends said i have grew thinner.wtf. No appetite to eat recently, too many things just happen in a split second..just too many.haiz.
its time to end le..
Forgotten about my exam date, suppose to have exam today but i thought my exam was on friday..damn.stm
Do i still have the confidence to face problems in my life again?emm i think no ba..i am like running away from problems instead of facing them. Just had this shadow in my heart which i really cant and dont know how to overcome it. What happens to u psyhologically when all ur loves ones decide to leave u? can u really take the impact? if u can withstand the impact, will there be no damage?
What is the biggest mistake that u have ever made in life? For me, i think is alot ba..
Sometimes i will question myself "will god really be there when u really need them?" For me i think is no ba, always felt that god is playing on me, playing jokes on me..fck up life.
I am sorry i cant be there for u when u need me the most. Sorry to make u so fck up. Sorry for eveything.
Have been hooked up with smoking for one year plus le, how stupid i am to start smoking. Whenever i felt stress i will think of smoke, maybe this is the reson why i cant quit ba.
My mum n friends said i have grew thinner.wtf. No appetite to eat recently, too many things just happen in a split second..just too many.haiz.
its time to end le..
; So Emo
N / 12:49 AM
gonna update my blog real soon. it has been 2 years since i have updated my blog..wth. Life's changed, social circle changed, personailty changed..basically everything had changed in that past 2 years. Time really fly damn fast, sometimes i felt tat i really cant catched up with it..its is kinda pathetic. Suffered from failures after failures, it seems like life had no aim, no goals...felt so empty suddenly.
Sometimes i asked myself "what have i acheived in life?" It's kinda difficult to think about it becos it seems like i had acheive nothing..fck up life anyway.
its jeff's birthday by the way...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U.although i know u nvr see my blog de.hahaa
Sometimes i asked myself "what have i acheived in life?" It's kinda difficult to think about it becos it seems like i had acheive nothing..fck up life anyway.
its jeff's birthday by the way...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U.although i know u nvr see my blog de.hahaa
; So Emo